I discussed peer pressure and cigarettes with my 12-year-old daughter. Having struggled for years to quit, I described how I had started smoking to “be cool”.
As I outlined the arguments kids might make to tempt her to try it, she stopped me mid-lecture, saying, “Hey, I’ll just tell them my mom smokes. How cool can it be?”
Texting acronyms can stump even the best of moms:
Mom: Your great-aunt just passed away. LOL.
Son: Why is that funny?
Mom: It’s not funny, David! What do you mean?
Son: Mom, LOL means Laughing Out Loud.
Mom: I thought it meant Lots of Love. I have to call everyone back.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Daughter: I got an A in Chemistry.
Daughter: Mom, what do you think WTF means?
Mom: Well That’s Fantastic.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Mom: What do IDK, LY & TTYL mean?
Son: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.
Mom: Okay, I will ask your sister.
Feeling listless, I bought some expensive "brain-stimulating" pills at the health food store. But it wasn’t until I got home that I read the label.
"This is just rosemary extract," I complained to my husband. "I can’t believe I spent all that money for something that I have growing wild in the yard!"
"See?" he said. "You’re smarter already."
The owner of a company tells his employees, “You worked very hard this year, therefore the company’s profits increased dramatically. As a reward, I ‘m giving everyone a check for $5,000!”
Thrilled, the employees gather round and high five one another.
“And if you work with the same zeal next year, I’ll sign those checks!”