Q: What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad?

A: A pine-apple.

“I feel like carp today...”

“Yeah, you look a little fishy.”

“That’s a nice plant,” said a woman at the florist’s shop, pointing to the flower I was buying.

“Yeah, my wife and I had an argument,” I admitted. “I was going to buy her a dozen roses, but I don’t think she’s that mad at me.”

The day before my high school graduation, the principal called an assembly. He wanted to say farewell informally, he explained, as he reviewed our years together.

There was hardly a dry eye among us as he concluded, "We will remember you, and hope you will remember us. More importantly, we want you to remember each other. I want all of you to meet in this very auditorium 25 years from today."

There was a moment of silence. Then a thin voice piped up, "What time?"