Three buildings in town were overrun by squirrels—the town hall, the hardware store, and the church. The town hall brought in some cats. But after they tore up all the files, the mayor got rid of the predators, and soon the squirrels were back.
The hardware store humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free outside town. But three days later, the squirrels climbed back in.
Only the church came up with an effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and made them members. Now they see them only on Christmas and Easter.
"Daddy," said my 10-year-old daughter, "I think I want to join the Army."
"Baby," I answered, "I think the Air Force would be a better option for you."
"But I don’t want to be a pilot."
"You don’t have to be a pilot," I told her. "There are other jobs in the Air Force."
Her answer: "I don’t want to be a flight attendant either."
My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently.
“Good!” I exclaimed. “I’m ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I’ll call you first.”
“Great!” she replied. “I’ll ride with you.”