stee Profile

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stee

User Details

Member Since : Sep, 2016
# of jokes posted : 67
# of followers : 2
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 1
Location: United States
won: $ 1247.00
$25.00 won 7 votes

Rushing to get to the movies, my husband and I told the kids we had to leave "right now" — at which point our teenage daughter headed for the bathroom to apply makeup. Her dad yelled for her to get in the car immediately, and headed for the garage grumbling.

On the way to the multiplex my husband glanced in the rearview mirror and caught our teen applying lipstick and blush, which produced the predictable lecture. "Look at your mom," he said. "She didn’t put on any makeup just to go sit in a dark movie theater."

From the back I heard, "Yeah, but Mom doesn’t need makeup." My heart swelling with the compliment, I turned back to thank this sweet, wonderful daughter of mine just as she continued, "Nobody looks at her."

7 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "stee" |
$25.00 won 8 votes

Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute teacher standing outside his classroom with his forehead against a locker. I heard him mutter, "How did you get yourself into this?"

Knowing he was assigned to a difficult class, I tried to offer moral support. "Are you okay?" I asked. "Can I help?"

He lifted his head and replied, "I’ll be fine as soon as I get this kid out of his locker."

8 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "stee" |
$15.00 won 5 votes

The police officer approaches the driver, "When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least."

The lady driver looks at the officer and replies, "You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old."

5 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "stee" |
$25.00 won 8 votes

A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Soon thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30 am jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially when he said he had discovered what “runner’s euphoria” was.

“Runner’s euphoria,” he explained, “is what I feel at 5:30 am on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.”

8 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "stee" |