My husband, an attorney, is frequently consulted by clients who, after learning what the cost of legal services will be, decide to do without his aid.

Recently the elderly minister of a small, struggling church came in with a legal problem.

After patiently listening to an explanation of my husband’s fees, he left the office with a prudent, "Thank you, sir, but I believe I’ll just pray this one through."

My sister explained to my nephew how his voice would eventually change as he grew up.

Tyler was exuberant at the prospect.

"Cool!" he said. "I hope I get a German accent."

My father’s secretary was visibly distraught one morning when she arrived at the office and explained that her children’s parrot had escaped from his cage and flown out an open window. Of all the dangers the tame bird would face outdoors alone, she seemed most concerned about what would happen if the bird started talking.

Confused, my father asked what the parrot could say. “Well,” she explained, “he mostly says, ‘Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.’”

I should have known better than to take my four-year-old son shopping with me. I spent the entire time in the mall chasing after him. Finally, I’d had it.

"Do you want a stranger to take you?!" I scolded.

Thrilled, he yelled back, "That depends, will HE take me to the zoo?"