A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?"

"No, I am an undercover detective."

"So why are you in uniform?"

"Today is my day off."

For Martin Luther King Day, I asked my fifth graders how they’d make the world a better place.

One said, “I’d make potato skins a main dish rather than an appetizer.”

After a rough day spent corralling my rowdy kids, I’d had enough.

“I think I’m going to sell them,” I hissed to my sister.

“You’re crazy,” she said.

“For thinking of selling them?”

“For thinking someone would buy them.”

The chef of the upscale restaurant I manage collided with a waiter one day and spilled coffee all over our computer. The liquid poured into the processing unit, and resulted in some dramatic crackling and popping sounds.

After sopping up the mess, we gathered around the terminal as the computer was turned back on. "Please let it work," pleaded the guilt-ridden waiter.

A waitress replied, "Should be faster than ever. That was a double espresso."