srg Profile

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srg

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2016
# of jokes posted : 44
# of followers : 2
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 3
Location: United States
won: $ 475.00
$15.00 won 22 votes

A child psychologist had twin boys—one was an optimist; the other, a pessimist. Just to see what would happen, on Christmas Day he loaded the pessimist’s room with toys and games. In the optimist’s room, he dumped a pile of horse droppings.

That night, the father found the pessimist surrounded by his gifts, crying.

“What’s wrong?” the father asked.

“I have a ton of game manuals to read … I need batteries … and my toys will all eventually get broken!” sobbed the pessimist.

Passing the optimist’s room, the father found him dancing for joy around the pile of droppings. “Why are you so happy?” he asked.

The optimist shouted, “There’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”

22 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "srg" |
$12.00 won 6 votes

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats.

6 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "srg" |
$15.00 won 14 votes

At the end of a visit to Amsterdam, a friend borrowed an old suitcase from his hosts to carry home his souvenirs. At the airport, however, a customs officer subjected our friend’s luggage to a thorough search and even sent for a drug-sniffing dog. Sure enough, the dog entered the area, headed straight for the borrowed bag and went into a frenzy. The customs officer now intensified his search, but ultimately he found nothing.

After arriving home, the young man immediately phoned his hosts and told them how puzzled he’d been by the dog’s behavior.

“Perhaps,” the owner of the suitcase said, “it was because that’s the bag our cat usually sleeps in.”

14 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "srg" |
$10.00 won 19 votes

On a Saturday afternoon when football fever was running high in South Bend, Indiana, a Notre Dame student was brought into the hospital where I was on duty as a nurse.

He had acute appendicitis, and as I prepared him for surgery I asked if he wasn’t terribly disappointed to miss the big game.

"Oh, I won’t miss it," he said. "Doc is giving me a spinal anesthetic so I can listen to it during the operation!"

19 votes

CATEGORY Sport Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "srg" |