A child psychologist had twin boys—one was an optimist; the other, a pessimist. Just to see what would happen, on Christmas Day he loaded the pessimist’s room with toys and games. In the optimist’s room, he dumped a pile of horse droppings.
That night, the father found the pessimist surrounded by his gifts, crying.
“What’s wrong?” the father asked.
“I have a ton of game manuals to read … I need batteries … and my toys will all eventually get broken!” sobbed the pessimist.
Passing the optimist’s room, the father found him dancing for joy around the pile of droppings. “Why are you so happy?” he asked.
The optimist shouted, “There’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”
On a Saturday afternoon when football fever was running high in South Bend, Indiana, a Notre Dame student was brought into the hospital where I was on duty as a nurse.
He had acute appendicitis, and as I prepared him for surgery I asked if he wasn’t terribly disappointed to miss the big game.
"Oh, I won’t miss it," he said. "Doc is giving me a spinal anesthetic so I can listen to it during the operation!"
The person sitting next to me on a flight was a woman. Ever the charmer, I used one of my pick-up lines on her.
I asked, “Does the airline charge you extra for sitting next to good-looking men?”
“Yes,” she replied, “but I wasn’t willing to pay.”