Several elderly nuns were in their second floor convent one night when a fire broke out.

They took their habits off, tied them together to make a rope, and climbed out the window.

After they were safely on the ground and out of the building, a news reporter came over to one of the nuns and said to her, "Weren't you afraid that the habits could have ripped or broken since they are old?"

The nun replied, "Nah, don't you know old habits are hard to break!"

SLOT MACHINES...

When you rearrange the letters you get, "CASH LOST IN ME."

I've often been asked, "What do you do now that you're retired?"

"Well, I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, and one of the things I enjoy most is turning beer, wine, Scotch, and margaritas into urine."

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.