Harry Finkelstein Profile

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Harry Finkelstein

User Details

Member Since : Jan, 2017
# of jokes posted : 3060
# of followers : 10
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 2
Location: United States
won: $ 776.00
$15.00 won 3 votes

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

"Why?" my daughter asked.

"Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been. It's dirty and probably has germs," I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Mommy, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart."

I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

"OH...I get it!" she beamed. "So if you don't pass the test, then you have to be the daddy?"

"Exactly," I replied back, with a big smile on my face.

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$5.00 won 2 votes

Why is there no egg in eggplant?

Why is there no ham in a hamburger?

How come English Muffins do not come from England?

How come French Fries do not come from France?

Why doesn’t pineapple contain apples or pines?

How come a Guinea Pig is neither a pig nor is it from Guinea?

2 votes

Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$6.00 won 4 votes

How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter?

It's just going to go out again, anyway.

4 votes

Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$7.00 won 3 votes

There's only one reason I would take up walking again...

So that I could hear heavy breathing again.

3 votes

Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |