The traveling salesman was passing through a small western town selling an elixir which he declared: "will make men live to a great age!"

"Look at me," he shouted. "Hale and hearty, I'm over 300 years old."

"Is he really as old as that?" a bystander ask the youthful assistant.

"I can't say," replied the assistant. "I've only worked for him for just over a 100 years."

My friend seemed really down as we were having an after work visit to the local bar. After a few beers he finally shared his story. "I finally snapped. Last night while I was going over the bills, I discovered how much money my wife squanders and I hit the roof. I stormed into the bedroom and gave her a lecture on economy and thrift.”

“Did it help?”

“I’ll say. Tomorrow we’re selling my boat and sailing equipment.”

On his patrol a policeman came across four guys in a tree and he asked that they come down.

After they all came down the policeman asked, "Who are you guys?"

One of the guys replied, "Geez what a memory! We are the guys that were up in the tree!"

My fear of stairs is escalating!