Past Winners

I was trying to decide what to do for a talent show I planned to enter.

Trusting my mother to help me out, I asked, “For the talent show, what do you think I should do, sing or put on a comedy act?”

Glancing up from her paper, she said dryly, “What’s the difference?”

I don’t know why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day...

When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.

Q: Why didn’t the rooster cross the road?

A: Because it was chicken.

We were at a red light when a car pulled up, its music blasting.

“He’ll be deaf before he’s 25,” I said.

“That won’t help us,” my wife replied. “He’ll only turn it up.”