Past Winners

My girlfriend isn't the brightest bulb. One day when she was being particularly dimwitted, I said in frustration, "What's your IQ anyway?!"

She shot back defiantly, "20/20!"

I asked a librarian if they had any books on "different noise levels"....

The librarian said, "Sure, what volume would you like?"

You know you've reached middle age...

When you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.

Are you a campfire?

Cause you are hot and I want s'more!