Q: Why did the lamp go on a diet?
A: Because it wanted to get light
Q. How many cockroaches dose it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None cause when you turn the light on they all scatter.
Q. How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. They can't do it, it's a hardware problem.
Q: How many type A personalities does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw in the light bulb, and one to tell him he's doing it all wrong.