misc jokes

A deer hunter at a hunting camp bagged two deer, one more than the limit. He called his wife ask her to go to the local sporting goods store to get a hunting license in her name and bring it to the hunting camp.
While getting the license she took up conversation with a man who happened to be the Game Warden. "A wonderful thing happened to my husband...he shot two deer, and he wants me to bring this license up to his camp," she said.
"What say, Mam, that we go up there and we'll BOTH congratulate him," he replied.

A preacher was standing at the pulpit giving his Sunday sermon when a note was passed to him. The only word written on the sheet was IDIOT. Looking up at the congregation, the preacher smiled and said: I have heard of men who write letters and forget to sign their names but this is the first time I will see a man sign his name and forget to write the letters.

Read this from Readers Digest a long time ago: One day a Cowpoke riding the plains, came upon a warrior with his head down on the ground with his ear on a wagon track, the warrior looked up at the cowpoke and said" Wagon with two horses, one black, one white, man with beard drive, smoke pipe, women ride, wear blue dress with bonnet" the cowpoke looks at the warrior and said" you mean you can tell me all that just by listening to a wagon track? The warrior looked up and replied, "No! Run over me half hour ago...

A man was sent to prison for 20 years. He was so bored while in there; he found an ant and decided to teach it tricks - like beg, play dead, roll over, jump hair etc. He served his time and was released. He took his ant with him in a matchbox. The first place he went was to a bar. He sat down, took out the matchbox and emptied out the ant. He then said to the guy beside him, "you are not gonna believe what this ant can do". He showed him all the tricks and the guy was impressed. He told him that he could make a fortune with the ant. The guy with the ant was excited and called the bartender over and said "you see that ant?" The bartender put his finger on the ant, twisted it and said "sorry sir it won't happen again."