misc jokes

You know it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship with your computer when….

You wake up at 3 o’clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and you stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

You move into a new house and you decide to Netscape before you landscape.

Your family always knows where you are.

They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage is love; after marriage is self-defense.

A teacher called upon the classroom to make sentences with words previously chosen. The teacher smiled when Pete, a slow learner, raised his hand to participate during the challenge of making a sentence with the words: Defeat, Defense, Deduct, and Detail.

Pete stood thinking for a while, all eyes focused on him while his classmates awaited his reply. Smiling, he the proudly said, “Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail.”

One CEO always scheduled staff meetings for 4:30 on Friday afternoons. One of the employees finally got up the nerve to ask why, the CEO explained, “I’ll tell you its very simple – it’s the only time of the week when none of you seems to want to argue with me.”