misc jokes

A psychiatrist was trying to comfort a new patient who was terribly upset. “You see, Doc,” the patient explained, “my problem is that I like shoes much better than I like boots.” “Why, that’s no problem,” answered the doctor. “Most people like shoes better than boots.”
The patient was thrilled, “That’s neat, Doc. How do you like them, fried or scrambled?

At the vending machine, a man put in his coins and watched powerlessly while the cup failed to appear. One nozzle sent coffee down the drain while another poured cream after it.

“Now that’s real automation!" he exclaimed. “It even drinks for you."

The bank robbers tied and gagged the employees in one room and the Manager in his office. On their way out they noticed the Manager was making desperate noises to catch their attention. Moved by curiosity, one of the burglars loosened the gag and heard the man’s plead: “Please take the books, too I’m $5000 short!”

A couple is reading the paper, the wife says: This article on overpopulation of the world says that somewhere in the world there is a woman having a baby every four seconds! Her husband not to appear uninterested said; I think they ought to find that woman and stop her!