misc jokes

A man walks into a bar and orders 3 beers. The bartender asks him why he gets three beers. The man told the bartender, "Well, one is for me, and the other two are for my brothers who live in Texas."

The man does this for about a week and one day the man walks in and orders two beers instead of three. The bartender asks him why just two. The man said, "Well, my wife told me I had to quit drinking but she didn't say anything about my brothers having to stop."

Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon?

Reports say that the food is good but there's no atmosphere!

What did the turkey say on Thanksgiving?
Don't "gobble" me up!

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I welcome you into the family!” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I am making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory everyday and learn the operation.”

The son-in-law interrupted. “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise.”

“I see,” replied the father-in-law. “Well, then you’ll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.”

“I hate office work,” said the son-in-law. “I can’t stand being stuck behind a desk.”

“Wait a minute,” said the father-in-law. “I just made you half owner of a money-making industry, but you don’t like factories, and won’t work in an office. What am I going to do with you?”

“Easy,” said the son-in-law. “Buy me out.”