misc jokes

They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage is love; after marriage is self-defense.

A tired hunter out in the wilds stumbled into a camp. “Am I glad to see you!” he said. “I’ve been lost for three days.”

“Don’t get too excited, friend,” the other hunter replied. “I’ve been lost for three weeks.”

A father often read Bible stories to his young children. One day he read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was tuned to salt.” His son asked, “What happened to the flea?”

A young woman gazed up from her hospital bed at the very handsome doctor who was examining her chart. She fluttered her eyelids and said, “They tell me that your are a real lady killer.” The doctor smiled and shook his head. “No, I make no distinction between the sexes.”