misc jokes

The choir had just come out of rehearsal. “Am I to assume that you do a lot of singing at home?” Mr. Harris asked a fellow choir member, David Grey. “Yes, I sing a lot. I use my voice just to kill time,” said David. Mr. Harris nodded, “You certainly have a fine weapon.”

A girl involved with a women’s lib group boarded a crowded bus and one man rose to his feet.

“No, no! You must not give up your seat, I insist!” she said.

The man replied, “Lady, you may insist as much as you like. But this is my street, so this is where I get off.”

Susan and Martha meet at the market and exchange news.
Susan said: My husband was named Man of the Year.
Martha replied: Well that shows you what kind of a year it’s been

A man mentioned to his landlord about the tenants in the apartment over his. “Many a night they stamp on the floor and shout till midnight.” When the landlord asked if it bothered him, he replied, “Not really, for I usually stay up and practice my trumpet till about that time most every night anyway.”