money jokes

I am so Broke... when I stop at a street corner, the homeless give me money.

I am so Broke... my bank statement shows TWO decimals points on my current balance.

I am so Broke... a televangelist said that all of His children will prosper, except this guy and shows my picture.

I am so Broke... mathematicians can now show that if you divide any number by zero, it will equal what is in my bank account.

I am so Broke... I can't afford anything Free.

I am so Broke... even my IP address is 00.00.00.00

I am so Broke... I am proof that multiplying a negative and a negative WILL give you a negative again.

I am so Broke... when I use a calculator to get the value of Pi, all I get is .1

I opened my electric bill at the same time I opened my water bill.

Needless to say, I was shocked.

I'd been working on my business degree for about a year when I finally got to take a popular finance course. I went to the bookstore to buy the text and was shocked to find out that it would cost me $96. I asked how much it was worth if I sold it back at the end of the semester.

"You'll get $24," said the clerk.

"This is insane," I protested as I wrote out the check.

"I know," replied the clerk sympathetically. "I've always thought that a person who buys a book for $96 and then sells it back for $24 should fail the course."