money jokes

Several years ago, I purchased a chest type freezer. My best friend came over to see it. She said, "My dad told me how you can tell if you have a tight seal on your freezer. If you put a dollar bill in between the top of the freezer and the bottom of the freezer and you can't pull it out, then you have a good seal."

"Wow, let's try it!" I said.

"Sorry, we can't," she began. "All I have is a ten."

How is golf like taxes?

You drive hard to get to the green, and then you wind up in the hole.

There was a man who computed his taxes and found that he owed $3,407. He packaged up his payment and included this letter:

Dear IRS:

Enclosed is my tax return & payment. Please take note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.

Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2,400) and six hammers (value $1,029).

This brings my total payment to $3,429.00. Please note the over-payment of $22.00 and apply it to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. Might I suggest you the send the above mentioned fund a "1.5 inch screw." (See attached article...HUD paid $22.00 for a 1.5 inch Phillips Head Screw.)

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do we call places to put money in 'Branches'?