Best Jokes

A high school student is in the counselor’s office. “So tell me, what things interest you?
“I’d like to cut people open and run my fingers through their liver and heart!”
The counselor chuckle and after a long pause says, “Well, I guess that means you’ll either be a surgeon or psychotic killer. Tell me more about yourself.” The student paused for a minute and said; “Well, to start with, I’m never wrong.” “Other people adore me and do exactly as I say…or if they don’t, they should.” The counselor smiles and says; “Surgeon it is!”

While visiting a friend in the hospital a young man noticed several pretty nurses, each one of them was wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. “What does the pin signify?” he asked one of them. “Oh! Nothing,” she said with a chuckle. “We just use it to keep the doctors away.”

A man called his doctor and said, “Doctor, I think that my wife has come down with a case of laryngitis.” “Bring her into the office, then” the doctor said, “and I’ll see what I can do to treat the condition.” “Actually, I was hoping you could tell me how to prolong it.”

How can you tell that managed cared has cut into your doctor’s income?
He takes Friday off to play miniature golf.