Best Jokes

During a bank heist the Chief told the Sgt. to cover all exits so the robbers could not get away. Later the Sgt. reports to the chief. “Sorry sir but they got away.”
The chief very disappointed says, “I told you to cover all Exist.”
"I did” replied the Sgt. but they got away through the Entrance"

An elderly woman called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car had been broken in to.
She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."

After the doctor gives the patient his diagnosis, the patient says; “Can I have a second opinion?
The doctor says; “Sure. Come back tomorrow.”

A patient tell his therapist: “I feel awful. I feel like a spoon all the time.”
The therapist says: “sit still and don’t stir.”