Best Jokes

Two prisoners were sitting in their cell talking, one said to the other, “You are getting out in a couple of weeks, are you going straight or back in Politics.

Judge: Why did you hit your husband with a chair?
Wife: Because I couldn't lift the table!

A manager was soliciting resumes through a recruitment agency to fill in a senior staff member who had just resigned. The next day the recruitment agent came in to meet the manager and beaming he handed over a resume and said, "M'am, we have got just the right person you are looking for. The manager after skimming through the resume was visibly upset. Puzzled, the recruitment agent enquired what the matter was. The manager replied, "This candidate on the resume is the best we've got in our department".

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a cat?
A: One is an arrogant creature that will claw you out of house and money, and the other is a cat.