Best Jokes

A debt-overwhelmed man, hopelessly poring over a pile of bills, suddenly shouted “I’d give a thousand dollars to anyone who would do my worrying for me!”
“You’re on,” said his wife. “Where is the thousand?”
“That is your first worry,” he replied.

An inebriated man and his drunken friend were sitting at a bar.
“Do you know what time it is?” Asked the drunk.
“Sure,” said the man
“Thanks,” said the drunk.

Three lunatics are attempting to escape from a mental hospital. The first one passes the guard, makes the sound of a cat, and continues.

The second one does exactly the same, meowing like a cat, and gets out, too.

The third then passes near the guard and yells, “I’m a cat too!”

There are more important things than money, but they won’t date you if you don’t have any