Best Jokes

Cat Lover's Rules:
1. The cat is not allowed in the house.
2. OK, the cat is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.
3. Ok, the cat is allowed in all rooms, but must stay off the furniture.
4. The cat can get on the old furniture only.
5. Fine, the cat is allowed on all the furniture, but it is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
6. The cat can sleep on the bed, but not under the covers or on the pillow.
7. OK, The cat can sleep under the covers and on the pillow by invitation only.
8. Well, ok, the cat can sleep under the covers every night and on the pillow too.
9. Humans must ask permission to sleep under the cover with the cat; only the cat can sleep on the pillow.

Cat Lover's Rules:
1. The cat is not allowed in the house.
2. OK, the cat is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.
3. Ok, the cat is allowed in all rooms, but must stay off the furniture.
4. The cat can get on the old furniture only.
5. Fine, the cat is allowed on all the furniture, but it is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
6. The cat can sleep on the bed, but not under the covers or on the pillow.
7. OK, The cat can sleep under the covers and on the pillow by invitation only.
8. Well, ok, the cat can sleep under the covers every night and on the pillow too.
9. Humans must ask permission to sleep under the cover with the cat; only the cat can sleep on the pillow.

One day an Antartian decided to face her fears and go riding on a horse. It was easy for her to get on and she was doing just fine until the horse started to go faster.

She started slipping off the saddle. She couldn’t hold on to the horse and her head started hitting the ground.

She was almost knocked unconscious when the Wal-Mart manager came out and unplugged the machine.

Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat. Then he went about his fishing.
An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth...