Latest Jokes

A married couple, both avid golfers, was discussing the future one night. "Honey," the wife said, "if I were to die and you were to remarry, would you two live in this house?"

"I suppose so, it's paid for."

"How about our car," continued the woman, "would the two of you keep that?

"I suppose so, it's paid for."

"What about my golf clubs? Would you let her use them too?"

"Heck, no," the husband blurted out. "She is left-handed."

One night, a man's wife wakes up in the middle of the night and finds that her husband isn't in bed. She goes downstairs to look for him and finds him in the kitchen sitting down at the table. He doesn't look so happy, so she asks him "What's wrong honey?" He says, "Well, if 'I will' is the shortest sentence, does that make 'I do' the longest sentence?"

One night, a man's wife wakes up in the middle of the night and finds that her husband isn't in bed. She goes downstairs to look for him and finds him in the kitchen sitting down at the table. He doesn't look so happy, so she asks him "What's wrong honey?" He says, "Well, if 'I will' is the shortest sentence, does that make 'I do' the longest sentence?"

A boy walks into the school nurse's office. The Nurse asks, "Why are you here?"

"I’m sick," the boy replies.

"Sick of what?"

"The teacher."