Latest Jokes

Q: How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two — One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
Q: How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it sure takes a whole lot of light bulbs!

Q: How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two — One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
Q: How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it sure takes a whole lot of light bulbs!

One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his. Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.

Everyone else left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0.

The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy.”

A doctor traveling by car along a country road collides with an attorney who happens to be driving in the opposite direction. The attorney, seeing that the doctor is a bit shaken up, helps him from the car and offers him a drink of Scotch from his hip flask. The doctor accepts, took a long drink and hands the flask back to the attorney, who closes it and puts it away. "Aren't you going to have a drink yourself?" asks the doctor.
The attorney replies, "Sure — as soon as the police leave."