Latest Jokes

A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The waiter brings him the sandwich. The panda bear eats it, pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter, and gets up and starts to walk out. The bartender yells for him to stop.

The panda bear asks, "What do you want?"

The bartender replies, "First you come in here, order food, kill my waiter, then try to go without paying for your food."

The panda bear turns around and says, "Hey! I'm a Panda. Look it up!"

The bartender goes into the back room and looks up panda bear in the encyclopedia, which reads: "Panda: a bear-like marsupial originating in Asian regions. Known largely for it's stark black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

A hobo (wanderer) comes up to the front door of a neat looking farmhouse and raps gently on the door. When the farm owner answers, the hobo asks him, "Please, sir, could you give me something to eat? I haven't had a good meal in several days." The owner says, "I have made a fortune in my lifetime by supplying goods for people. I've never given anything away for nothing. However, if you go around the back, you will see a gallon of paint and a clean paint brush. If you will paint my porch in the back of the house, I will give you a good meal." So the hobo goes around back and a while later he again knocks on the door. The owner asks, "Finished already? Good. Come on in. Sit down. The cook will bring your meal right in." The hobo says, "Thank you very much, sir. But there's something that I think you should know. It's not a Porsche you got there. It's a BMW.."

A hobo (wanderer) comes up to the front door of a neat looking farmhouse and raps gently on the door. When the farm owner answers, the hobo asks him, "Please, sir, could you give me something to eat? I haven't had a good meal in several days." The owner says, "I have made a fortune in my lifetime by supplying goods for people. I've never given anything away for nothing. However, if you go around the back, you will see a gallon of paint and a clean paint brush. If you will paint my porch in the back of the house, I will give you a good meal." So the hobo goes around back and a while later he again knocks on the door. The owner asks, "Finished already? Good. Come on in. Sit down. The cook will bring your meal right in." The hobo says, "Thank you very much, sir. But there's something that I think you should know. It's not a Porsche you got there. It's a BMW.."

Q: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A: Because they taste funny