Baby Billy was sitting in his mother's kitchen, watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal.
"What are you doing?" Billy asked.
"Oh, I'm just stuffing the turkey," his mother replied.
"That's cool!" Billy said. "Are you going to hang it next to the bear?"
I was on family leave, spending my days caring for my two-year-old son while pregnant with my second. To kill some time, I began watching the Game Show Network, and I got hooked. One afternoon my husband came home from work to find the house in complete disarray and I plopped in front of the TV. "So that's what you do while I'm at work?" he said smirking.
"I just happened to have it on," I lied.
The next day we were watching the President give a speech. As he stepped out of his car and waved to his cheering supporters, my son shouted, "Look, Mommy, he won the car!"
I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.
Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.
Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which ten items would you like to buy?"
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the sunny Caribbean. They were discussing their great vacations when the lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."
That is quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
The lawyer, quite puzzled, asked, "How do YOU start a flood?"