Marty Profile

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Marty

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 466
# of followers : 16
# of following: 16
eligible jokes to win : 3
Location: United States
won: $ 345.00
1 votes

Many students across the nation are doing school assignments on their computers from home these days.

Father: Jimmy, you need to go online and do your homework. It’s important to prepare yourself for the profession of choice.

Later on the father checks on Jimmy’s progress only to find him playing video games.

Father: Jimmy, you’re supposed to be doing your homework.

Jimmy: I am doing my homework dad, I’m going to be a video game reviewer on YouTube.

1 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
1 votes

After recess Emma told the teacher that Jillian, Stephany and she needed one more person to play foursquare but Little Johnny refused complaining he isn’t a team player.

Teacher: “Little Johnny why wouldn’t you play foursquare with the girls?"

Little Johnny: “My mother had quadruplets, ten months later she had my twin sister and me. Ten months after that she had triplets.”

Teacher: “It looks as though you have 8 siblings all within 10 months of your age at home but what does that have to do with school?”

Little Johnny: “Unlike my house there are boys at school.”

1 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
$7.00 won 1 votes

When my brother and I were very small my mother took us with her when she visited a girlfriend.

The lady gave my brother and I an apple. My mother said, "What do you say to the nice lady?"

My brother replied, "Peal it."

1 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Marty" |
$6.00 won 2 votes

As a way to compensate for their absence, a group of golfing buddies decided to all pitch in twenty bucks and one with the best golf score would take their wife dancing and dinner. The wives liked this idea since it was more than they had before.

Fred's wife was especially wanting him to win and the moment he returned after golfing she excitedly asked, "Are we having a special dinner tonight Fred?"

"Yes we are my dear, how does Peking Duck sound?"

She said, "That sounds great."

Fred replied, "Good, while driving over the pond on the 7th hole, I accidentally hit one. All we need now is the recipe."

2 votes

CATEGORY Golf Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Marty" |