Marty Profile

Image
 

Marty

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 366
# of followers : 15
# of following: 12
eligible jokes to win : 6
Location: United States
won: $ 267.00
$7.00 won 2 votes

What do you get if you mix sorbitol, gelatin, #3 red dye and artificial flavorings then post your formula online joking it's antigravity material?

You get a friendly midnight visit from men in black and get to explain you're only trying to make gummy bears.

2 votes

CATEGORY Science Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Marty" |
$9.00 won 1 votes
 

A guy walked into a bar and noticed they had a huge Silver Back Gorilla sitting at the end of the bar on a short wide barstool.

The guy asked the barkeep why they had a gorilla. The bartender replied, “That’s Joe-Joe, he’s trained to give CPR if someone drinks too much. So what’ll you have there buddy?”

The man replied, “A Shirley Temple.”

1 votes

Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Marty" |
$15.00 won 4 votes

A pet store owner held an emergency staff meeting.

Pet Store owner to all staff members: "Last month I installed an anonymous suggestion box and asked your thoughts on how to increase sales. I did say the suggestions are anonymous but I'd REALLY like to know who suggested we put recipes on the cages."

4 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Marty" |
$12.00 won 3 votes

Politician (to his lawyer): I'll admit it was a miracle you were able to clear my name. However, I don't understand why you charged me three times the hours of actual work?

Lawyer: It has to do with the law.

Politician: Do you mean to tell me the law told you to triple bill me?

Lawyer: No, but for some odd reason the law doesn't allow me to write the word "bribe" on a billing statement.

3 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Marty" |