Two Squirrel monkeys opened a boxing gym but after a month they had no customers. One day a Silver Back Gorilla came through the front door.

Completely frightened out of their wits the first squirrel monkey blurted out, "You're in the wrong gym big fella; the sumo wrestling gym is down the street on your left."

The Silver Back thanked them, turned and started to heading that way. The second Squirrel Monkey said to the first one, "There isn't a sumo wrestling gym down the street. All he'll find is old Joe's vegetable stand."

"Poor old Joe replies," the first one.

A few minutes later the Gorilla returns. "I'd like to thank you two. Old Joe told me the sumo gym will open next Monday. I was especially happy when he said you guys are the managers."

When Fred went to his barber he expressed concern about going bald.

Fred: “Now that I’m getting older I’m worried about my hair falling out.”

Barber: “Men’s hair doesn’t ever fall out.”

Fred: “I’ve seen many balding older men.”

Barber: “When men get older their hair follicles get weak making the hair fall back inside their head.”

Fred: “That’s preposterous, do you have any proof?”

Barber: “Now that you’re older and thinning have noticed excess hair coming out your ears?”

Fred: “Yes, actually I have noticed that?”

Barber: “I rest my case.”

Elle: "Grandpa, why are these eggs so large?"

Grandpa: "They're duck eggs."

Elle: "Where did you get them?"

Grandpa: "On the internet. It's easy if you use Quack Quack Go, just type in eggs and hit enter."

Elle: "I think you meant duck duck go."

Grandpa: "I don't think so. You have to use the right search engine and I wasn't looking for ducks."

Elle: "What if I wanted to donate to animals in wildfire distress?"

Grandpa: "Firefox and if you' want to find a date go to...."

Elle: "Don't tell me, Yahoo right?"