Marty Profile



User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 628
# of followers : 16
# of following: 17
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 580.00
1 votes

Online Teacher: Johnny, you didn't complete the assignment I sent to your email box last week. Did you get the email?

Johnny: You'll have to ask the N.S.A., they read my emails so I don't need to. I figured if an email is important they'll let me know.

Teacher: Tell the N.S.A. they're getting an incomplete on this assignment and they better pay closer attention next time or they'll fail my class.

1 votes

posted by "Marty" |
$10.00 won 2 votes

An English boy came home from school to hear the family parrot say, "Liam never does his homework."

Liam: "Who told you that?"

Polly looked the other way and said nothing..

Liam: "So, mum's the word eh."

Polly: "Oh man, don't tell Mum I told you."

2 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Marty" |
1 votes

A sailor was swallowed by a whale and lived to tell the tale.

When asked by a reporter what the scariest part was he answered, "The graffiti... someone wrote 'Pinocchio was here.'"

1 votes

posted by "Marty" |
$8.00 won 2 votes

Patient: I was born C-Section and every time I leave my house I constantly fight the urge to go out the window.

Doctor: On a scale of one to ten how bad is this problem?

Patient: I’d have to say a ten considering I live on the 88th floor of a high rise.

2 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Marty" |