Marty Profile

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Marty

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 628
# of followers : 16
# of following: 17
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 580.00
1 votes

At the County Fair the couple’s 50 Yard Dash event entailed the ladies jumping on the backs of their partners and riding to the finish line.

Of the fifty couples beginning the race only three couples left the starting line. Oddly enough, in all three men who did leave the starting line were all named Mark; not a Willie or a Sam in the bunch.

The judges said, “Well that’s it, next year we’re not going to say on your mark, get set, go.”

1 votes

posted by "Marty" |
1 votes

Granddaughter: Grandpa, I thought you were going to buy concert tickets for my birthday.

Grandpa: I asked if you'd mind if I bought the tickets and you said yes so I didn't buy the tickets.

Granddaughter: These days Grandpa, yes means yes.

Grandpa: I thought you would mind if I bought the tickets when you said yes.

Granddaughter: You're not going to go into that "Whose on first routine" again are you?



1 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
$5.00 won 1 votes

A man found a defenseless baby squirrel in the woods. He placed the tiny creature inside his shirt to carry it out.

When asked about his act of kindness he said, "No way I could leave this little critter in distress. However, I have a word to the wise, make sure you tighten your belt a notch or two before you toss one in your shirt."

1 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Marty" |
$7.00 won 2 votes
 

In a European town the streets were cleared for an annual race.

The second place driver said the winner cheated by using one of those round intersections with several exits as a shortcut.

In the end the judges decided the winner did no wrong.

After all, turnabout is fair play.

2 votes

Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Marty" |