Marty Profile



User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 366
# of followers : 15
# of following: 12
eligible jokes to win : 6
Location: United States
won: $ 267.00
2 votes

Have you ever wondered why older men usually lift they’re pant cuffs before slowly taking a seat?

Now that I’m older I’ve solved this age old mystery. It’s a matter of physics really and can be easily explained in scientific terms.

Let’s put it this way, due to the effect of iron magma spinning in the earth’s core creating gravitational property metrics change over time affects the dynamics between the physiological union in relation to the nomenclature of a seating devices.

This phenomenon reassigns the trajectories positional relationship rendering the elder human males posterior anatomy contact arrival with the seating device surface in what can be described as close race but nevertheless in second place.

2 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
1 votes

Son: After I graduate college I want become a sales person because there must be hundreds of different types, which gives me options.

Dad: There may be many different types of products but there are only three types of sales people...

The first type will take your commissions and doesn't care if you know...

The second type will take your commissions if they don't think you'll figure it out...

The third type are people that don't know what they're doing. In the end they'll take your commissions accidentally.

Son: That must mean there's a fourth type, someone who is actually a #1 but pretends to be a #3 so you won't get mad at them.

Dad: Actually son, now you're getting into sales management.

1 votes

posted by "Marty" |
1 votes

Customer: Barkeep, what’s the special today?

Barkeep: It’s an original drink we call the Zomazoid. It’s made with 2 shots each of 100 proof alcohols. It contains Vodka, Tennessee Whiskey, Tequila, and Scotch, topped with Irish Cream and Banana slices.

Customer: What do the customers that order this drink say about it?

Barkeep: No one really knows, we can’t understand what they’re saying.

1 votes

posted by "Marty" |
$7.00 won 2 votes

Major damage after Hurricane Miley and Hurricane Cyrus merged together and then jammed into the mainland...

Witnesses say the scene looked like it was hit by a wrecking ball.

2 votes

Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Marty" |