Father: The man who marries my daughter gets a prize.
Suitor: Can I see the prize first?
Aviator: First one wing came off and then the other.
Listener: What did you do?
Aviator: I grabbed a drumstick and had a second helping.
Two Martians landed on a corner traffic light.
“I saw her first,” one said.
“So what?” the other Martian replied. “I’m the one she winked at.”
Father: Didn’t you promise to be a good boy?
Little Johnny: Yes, father.
Father: And didn’t I promise to punish you if you weren’t?
Little Johnny: Yes, father. But since I’ve broken my promise, you don’t have to keep yours.