Joe: You know that hundred bucks I borrowed from you? I bet you thought I was a dead beat! Well, Frank, I’m not…and here’s the hundred back.
Frank: I—I don’t believe it!
Frank’s wife: I believe it!! And I need fifty of that to buy a new Mix-Master!!
Frank’s son: And I need thirty-five for a new tire for my Honda!
Frank’s daughter: And I need fifteen for new jeans!
Frank: Well, Joe, I gotta tell you, when I lent you that money, I figured I’d never get it back…and I was right!
Husband: For Pete’s sake, can’t you keep one lousy check book straight?!?
Wife: Now, hold it a darn second! I got myself a pocket computer and I meticulously added every deposit and subtracted every check! So I don’t believe you when you say I made a mistake!
Husband: Oh yeah? I’ll bet you money that you’re overdrawn!
Wife: Okay, how much do you want to bet?!?
Husband: Sixty-three dollars and twenty-seven cents!!
Wife: Are you having another sleepless night?!?
Husband: Yeah! I’m so darn angry, I’ve got insomnia again.
Wife: What’s eating you tonight?
Husband: It's that damn boss of mine! He gets me so boiling mad! He keeps bugging me all day long! Hounding me! Hounding me!! Then, when comes time to go to bed, I’m so full of “I should’ve said—!” that I can’t get any shut-eye!
Wife: What’s he got against you anyway?
Husband: He says I keep falling asleep on the job.
Father: I finally won a battle in the never-ending war between parents and children.
Mother: That I’d like to see.
Father: Take a look.
Mother: Well, I’ll be darned! That’s our son out there, actually mowing the lawn! How in the world did you ever manage that?
Father: He wanted to borrow the car, and I told him I’d lost keys in the overgrown grass!