A knock-knock joke with a cold.
How does one leave a casino with a million dollars?
By entering the casino with a billion dollars!
"One of the worst jobs I ever had was when I used to be a narrator."
"Well, that doesn't sound so bad?"
"I was a narrator for bad mimes."
A friend of mine one day hadn’t eaten in over twelve hours. He says to me, “Man, I’m hungry!”
I quickly reply, “I thought your name was Alfred, not hungry?"