Three guys are fishing when an angel appears.
The first guy says, “I’ve suffered from back pain for years. Can you help me?”
The angel touches the man’s back and he feels instant relief.
The second guy points to his thick glasses and begs for a cure for his poor eyesight.
When the angel tosses the lenses into the lake, the man gains 20/20 vision.
As the angel turns to the third fellow, he instantly recoils and screams, “Don’t touch me! I’m on disability!”
A man is arrested for stealing a can of peaches and is brought before the judge.
The judge asks, “How many peaches were in the can?”
The man replies, “Six, Your Honor.”
“In that case, you will go to jail for six days, one for each peach.”
Hearing that, his wife stands and says, “Your Honor, he also stole a can of peas.”