Bob: What are you doing with a pencil and paper?
Ted: I’m writing a letter to my brother.
Bob: But you don’t know how to write.
Ted: That’s okay, my brother can’t read.
Policeman: "Hey, you! You're crossing the street when the light says, 'Don’t Walk'!"
Pedestrian: "Sorry, officer, I thought it was an ad for the bus company."
Moe: "Where did Larry go?"
Curly: "He’s round in front."
Moe: "I know what he looks like, I just wanted to know where he went."
Man on phone: Hello, young man, could I speak to your mother or father?
Little Johnny: My parents aren’t home.
Man on phone: Could I leave them a message?
Little Johnny: Sorry, we don’t have an answering machine.