Son: Dad... can I have $450 to buy a moped?
Dad: Son, listen to me very carefully. Due to the escalation of my personal monetary obligations brought on by spiraling inflation and the ever-fluctuating ramifications of the Petro-dollar, it behooves me to rule in the extreme negative when responding to my male issue.
Son: Huh?!? I don’t get it!
Father: Are you playing with that video game again? What about studying?! What about homework?!
Son: Ahhh, school is such a bore!
Father: Listen, when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he walked ten miles to school! When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he did his homework by fire-light!
Son: And when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States!