John: Do you know how big the world's biggest nose was?
David: Eleven inches
John: That's not very long.
David: If it was any longer, it would be a foot.
Life is like a Rubik's cube...
Easy to mess up, hard to solve.
Teacher: "Can anyone tell me where the toothbrush was invented?"
Little Johnny: "In Kentucky. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush."
You know, when you're getting old, there are certain signs.
I walked past a cemetery, and two guys ran after me with shovels!