A pedantic bore forced a conversation with a fellow passenger on a coast to coast flight, and made a great parade of his knowledge. The passenger listened as long as he could. Looking at him gravely, he said, "My friend, you and I know all that there is to know."
"How is that?" asked the bore, pleased with what he thought was a complimentary association.
"Well," began the traveler, "you know everything there is to know except that you are a bore, and I know that."
A well known speaker lectured to the members of the literary society. After his address the secretary approached him with a check. This he politely refused, saying that it might be devoted to some charitable purpose.
"Would you mind if we added it to our special fund? " she ask.
"Not at all," said the speaker. "What is the special fund for?"
"To allow us to get a better speaker for next year."
Floyd had taken his girlfriend on their third date and she had spoken to a nice-looking man at the next table.
"Is that man a friend of yours?" ask Floyd.
"Yes," she replied.
"Then I think I'll ask him to join us."
"Oh Floyd, this is so sudden!"
"What's so sudden?"
"Why he's our minister."