Sunday School Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, I want you to memorize today's motto, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive."
Little Johnny: "Yes mam, but I know it already. My father says he has always used that as his motto in his business."
Teacher: "Oh, how noble of him! And what is his business?"
Little Johnny: "He's a boxer."
"What did you buy your husband for his birthday?"
"Well, knowing he wanted a journal, I bought him one that locked since he's so particular about his notes."
"And surely you bought something for yourself too?"
"Oh, of course! I made myself a duplicate key."
The girl was very rich and the boy was poor but honest. She liked him, but that was all, and he knew it. One night he had been a little more tender than usual. "You are very rich," he ventured.
"Yes," she replied frankly, "I'm worth 1.25 million dollars."
"And I'm poor," he replied. "Will you marry me?"
"I thought you would say no."
"Then why did you ask me?"
"Oh, just to see how a man feels when he loses 1.25 million dollars."
Fresh from graduation the rookie policeman called the precinct to report his first robbery: "Chief, a man has been robbed down here and I've got one of them."
Chief: "Great job. Which one of them do you have?"
Rookie: "I have the one that has been robbed."