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Panhandler: "Please sir, can you give me $10?"

Man: "Sorry, don't have any change. All I have is a $50 bill."

Panhandler: "No problem sir, if you donate $50 today, you can take advantage of the 10% cash back offer!"

Policeman: "Why are you driving without a light?"

Scooterist: "There is light everywhere."

Policeman: "Then shall I remove the air from your tires?"

Scooterist: "Why would you do that?"

Policeman: "Because there is air everywhere..."

"I have really good eyesight. Even in the dark, I can see things that are far away."

"Really, like what things?"

"Well, the moon and the stars."