Shenghen Profile

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Shenghen

User Details

Member Since : Jan, 2017
# of jokes posted : 108
# of followers : 3
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 1161.00
$50.00 won 5 votes

"Hello! Is this Gordon's Pizza?"
"No sir, it's Google's Pizza."

"Did I dial the wrong number?
"No sir, Google bought the pizza store."

"Oh, alright then. I’d like to place an order please."
"Okay sir, do you want the usual?"

"The usual? You know what my usual is?"
"According to the caller ID, the last 15 times you’ve ordered a 12-slice with double-cheese, sausage, and thick crust."

"Okay, that’s what I want this time too."
"May I suggest that this time you order an 8-slice with ricotta, arugula, and tomato instead?"

"No, I hate vegetables."
"But your cholesterol is not good."

"How do you know?"
"Through the subscribers guide. We have the results of your blood tests for the last 7 years."

"You know what, I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, and everyone else having all my information! I'm going to an island without internet, where there’s no cellphone line, and no one to spy on me!"

"I understand sir. But you may want to renew your passport... it expired 5 weeks ago."

5 votes

Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Shenghen" |
$15.00 won 2 votes

The height of bad luck...

Your battery is at 2% and you see your boss upload pictures of himself and his family...

Wanting to impress him, you quickly comment "cool pics" but auto correct changes it to "cool pigs"...

Just as your battery runs out.

2 votes

CATEGORY Office Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Shenghen" |
$12.00 won 1 votes

If ever u feel overloaded by life, wife or work, Immediately go to the nearest "Biological Anxiety Relief" (BAR) center & place order for any 1 or more of the following Antidotes:

1. Wife Irritation Neutralizing Extract (WINE)
2. Refreshing Unique Medicine (RUM)
3. Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER)
4. Vaccino Officio Depression Killing Antigen (VODKA)
5. Wife High Infusing Suspicion Killing Energy Yeast (WHISKEY)

1 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Shenghen" |
$12.00 won 2 votes

I always read my wife's horoscope...

To see what kind of day I am going to have.

2 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Shenghen" |