Doctor: I am sorry I can't treat your ailment!
Patient: Why doctor? Is it that serious?
Doctor: No. Your ailment was not covered in my medical study book.
Patient, trembling in fear: Which book was that?
Doctor: How to become doctor in 30 days!
A boy says to his friend, "Today my test results are out and my dad is at home. If I fail in one subject, text me saying ‘good morning to you’. If I fail in two, text me ‘Good morning to you and to your dad.’"
His friend agreed. Minutes later the boy gets a text from his friend. “Good morning to you and to your family and to your neighbors also!"
Wife: “Why don’t you tell your friend that the girl he is getting married to is not apt for him?”
Husband: “Leave it. I am not going to say anything.”
Wife: “Why not? After all, he is your friend!”
Husband: “He didn’t tell me anything when I was getting married.”
A husband and wife are sitting on the couch. After a long day at work, they are both just resting and relaxing as they watch a tv show.
Husband: "I am feeling thirsty. Can you please get me some water?"
Wife: "Shall I also get you some pizza as well?"
Husband: "Oh wow! That‘d be great, my mouth is already watering."
Wife: "Good, that means you don't need the water anymore then."