Tom to his mom: "Mom, please tell me a story?"
Mom: "Sorry, honey, I don't have any new stories to tell. But you should ask your dad why he was late coming home today. He will then tell you some amazing stories."
Wife: "Last night I had a dream that you bought me a pearl necklace."
Husband: "Wow, that's great! Tonight when you go to sleep, you can put it on."
Man 1: "Today Facebook saved my life."
Man 2: "How?"
Man 1: "It reminded me about my wife's birthday!"
Boy 1: "As long as you are in school, two things will always be your friends."
Boy 2: "Who are they?
Boy1: "Classwork and Homework!"