A married couple are arguing back and forth about the husband's time on Facebook and Twitter.
The wife threatens, "If you continue to spend more time on Twitter and Facebook, then I will spend more time on Amazon and EBay!"
The husband goes offline immediately.
Client: Doctor, how much you charge for visiting a patient's house?
Doctor: I charge $50.
The doctor and client drove to the client's house in the former's car. The doctor didn't find any patient and asked, "Where's the patient?"
The client replied, "Well, there's no patient here doc. The taxi fare to my house was $75. I just needed a ride home. Here's your $50. Thank you."