Teacher: "Why are you late this morning?"
Student: "Its my alarm clock. Everyone got up except me!"
Teacher: How did the alarm clock make you the only one not to get up?"
Student: "There are eight of us in the my family and the alarm clock was only set for seven."
Little Johnny's mother was asking him a question and he replied: "Mother, you took the words right out of my ears."
Mother: "No, that's not right. It's you took the words right out of my mouth."
Little Johnny: "But I heard it before."
Customer: "How much is the hamburger steak?"
Butcher: "$1.98 cents a pound."
Customer: "But at the corner market is is only $0.98 cents a pound."
Butcher: "Then you should go there to buy it."
Customer: "But they are all out of it."
Butcher: " Oh, I see. When we don't have any we sell it for $0.50 cents a pound."