A couple who work at the circus go to an adoption agency. Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability. The couple produces photos of their 50 foot motor-home, which is equipped with a beautiful nursery. The social workers then are doubtful about the education that the child would get.

"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills."

Then there are doubts about raising a child in a circus environment. "Our nanny is an expert in pediatric welfare and diet."

The social workers are finally satisfied. They ask, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"

"It doesn't really matter, as long as he or she fits in the cannon."

Last week a friend and I decided to take a day off and go to the race track.

I bet on a horse at 10 to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

Little Johnny comes home from school and tells his dad that he failed the safety quiz

Dad: What? How?

Little Johnny: I missed the only question

Dad: What was the question?

Little Johnny: What steps do we take in case of fire?

Dad: And what did you say?

Little Johnny: Well I said really large ones but apparently that's not right answer!!!

A young salesperson peeped into the office of someone who looked like a sales manager, muttered something, then started walking away. After retreating a little he seemed to change his mind and headed back to the door -- where after some hesitation, he started to back away again. The sales manager, feeling sorry for the young man, and surprised that he was so badly trained, called him in.

"You're a salesperson aren't you? What are you selling?"

"Sir ... uh ... yes ... I'm a salesman. I'm sorry to bother you. I was selling insurance, but I'm sure you don't want any. Sorry to have wasted your time."

Feeling sorry for the young bungler, the sales manager bought two policies to give the young salesman some confidence and then started teaching him about selling. He said: "You should have different pre-planned approaches for different kinds of—"

"But I do, sir,” the young salesman interrupted, “the one I just used is my planned approach for sales managers. It always works. Thank you!"